The Trouble With Love(CLOSED/Damen)

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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There was no need for me to hear her soft crying. No. The light from the fire was what caused me to lift my head and look over in that general direction. I ran my hand through my already mussed hair and swung my legs off the bed. I stifflying a yawn before rising and wondering towards her. My steps were silent as I made my way over to her, eyes filled with a deep unyeilding concern. I wonder what caused the tears to fall from her liquid eyes. What caused her sadness to appeal to me so much. Maybe it was the fact that I wanted to be there for her. Wanted to protect her from the cruelties of the outside world. Cruelties that she had more than likely already seen. I frowned slightly before kneeling down next to her. "Valerie?" My voice was soft and smooth, a baritone noise among all this silence.

It was like my hand had a mind of its own when I ran it along her cheek, wiping away the tear tracks that it had come in contact with. My hand shifted until it cupped her cheek, lifting her face toward me and away from the photographs she was looking at. I searched her eyes for a moment, then released her, not sure what she might do to me. Whether she might run away again, throw a temper tantrum once more. I wasn't used to someone with mood swings when another person touched you. That's how my family had convayed feelings most of the time. Touch. It was a world of wonder when someone outside of your family got what you were trying to say when you hugged them, touched their hand. Anything. I didn't know if I could get Val to trust me after so much had happened, but I would still try as I was trying now. I sat down, legs crossed infront of me, looking at her with somber eyes.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
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As soon as I heard Damen's voice, my thoughts stopped. I felt his hand caress my cheek and I let him. I looked into his beautiful chocolate eyes, and I was lost in them. Then he sat down and I sighed, shutting the book. So much for going back to memories. I moved my gaze to the fire and didn't let it go back to him. "Nightmare. I have them every night. Tonight was a bad one. And whenever I have a bad nightmare I look at my photo album I made, it's just me and my dad pretty much," I said quietly, before looking at him again, "My dad died three years ago. Car accident." Without thinking, I leaned on him, setting my head on his shoulder. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. "Don't expect me to do this again, okay? Just tonight I really need someone," I said with a sigh.

I did need Damen, whether I liked it or not. Right now I just wanted to be close to him. I shut my eyes gently, knowing sleep would be near impossible. "They scare me, those nightmares. Normally they aren't that bad and I can get back to sleep but tonight it was a bad one," I mentioned, speaking quietly still. Damen had some sort of way of comforting me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him sadly, "I'm sorry I was so nasty. It just scared me... being so close to you. I'm trying to forget about how much I'm going to hate myself later for being this close to you now." My voice was sincere and sad, and I really was going to hate myself later. But I didn't want to move.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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I listened to each word she said then ducked my head down to press my lips thoughtfully to her head. It was a knee jerk reaction when I was in deep thought and I hoped greatly she wouldn't think anything of it as my brows knit together. Absent mindedly I allowed an arm to slip around her side, keeping her close, comforting her in away it seemed only I could do. I took a deep breath before I opened my mouth, "I never knew my dad. They say he died when I was six or so. I don't remember him at all. Yeah, I have a step dad, but it isn't the same since he's never home." I sighed, my lips still resting on her hair. Without a single thought as to what I was going, my fingers drifted gently up her arm before running back down, repeating the movement over and over.

The corner of my lips pulled up and I whispered softly, "My mom used to hold me just like how I am you when I had nightmares. You would love my mom. Though absent minded she may be, she makes the best sugar cookies and homemade lemonade to behold." I chuckled. My heavy lids drifted to a half closed position and I gazed down at her, looking like a sleepy, over-sized child. How could she think anything other than that of me in this moment? It was silly to imagine that I was seventeen and a total sleepy head before eleven o' clock even rolled around. It was insane and she would see that in no time. Though pity filled my heart, I knew that was not something she would want and that was the key to all of this at the moment.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
[/center]

I sighed as his lips touched my forehead. I just couldn't help it, I was falling for him. I was afraid and trusting all at the same time. I shut my eyes gently, still keeping focus and not drifting off. "I'd kill to have your parents. Much better than mine. Well, dad was amazing, but I can't say much for Trevor or my Mom. I blew up Trevor's new car three times, totally wrecked the other two. He's the reason I ran here," I explained. I let my arms loop around his chest under his arms, pulling us closer together. I was tired, and comfortable, and wouldn't bother pushing away.

I sighed quietly again as I sat there with him, warm and secure in his arms. "I have never had homemade baked stuff like cookies or cakes," I admitted, "Mom couldn't cook, Dad wasn't that great with pastries. I obviously inherited my inability to cook from them. I remember one year Mom tried to make thanksgiving turkey and set it on fire, Dad took us out to KFC, as well as all the firemen who were there. That was back when Mom actually cared..." I laughed sadly and trailed off, then resumed in a cold voice, "But those times are gone now. She's on drugs, she's got Trevor, and both of them hate me. She hates me because I'm like Dad. He hates me because he's Trevor, and he hates anyone who doesn't obey his every command." I went quiet for a few minutes before opening my eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming out again.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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I smiled sweetly, allowing all of this to sink in and more than slightly finding it funny that she had blown up three cars. I with held my laughter though, fighting it mightly. "I'll have to cook for you sometime then. I actually was forced to learn to fend for myself. My mother told me when I was ten that she would no longer cook for me unless I learned to cook. So I did." I paused as I thought about what else I was going to say, "Freshman year was the first year I'd ever eatten something that wasn't made at home. I think I almost got sick. It's a hard day to remember." I laughed softly, loving the way she'd managed to cuddle up rather than running away. My heart beat was racing, yet every word she said, I payed attention to with full detail.

"Wow. I'd hate that. My mom always told me I was like my dad. I was too young to remember him when he died, but my mom tells me all about him." A sad smile touched my lips, "Robert, my step-dad, is great and everything, but it's not the same. He's not my real dad and sometimes he'd never around." A shrug formed and a sigh escaped. I was cozy where I was, though my ass was starting to hurt really bad. Floors weren't anyone's friend, but hey, if she wasn't going to move neither was I. "You can go to sleep. I'll still be here and I won't do anything." I lifted a hand and stroked her hair as I lifted my head away and tilted it backward, looking up rather than down.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
[/center]

I yawned slightly and smiled. "I'd like that. You're my own personal chef now, okay?" I teased, "I like anything that has sugar really. Spicy foods don't agree with me, though, so nothing too spicy if you're going to cook." I sighed, knowing I was going to daze out any minute. So I took the oppurtunity and kissed his cheek then went back to where I was. "Goodnight, Damen. Thank you..." I whispered with a smile before shutting my eyes. I drifted off quickly into a dreamless sleep, which was funny because normally I had nightmares. But it seemed being in Damen's arms got rid of them... well then I better get the sleep while I could because this would not be happening again. Ever.

I woke up around five. Slipping out of Damen's arms I took my blankets and pillow back up onto the bed, curling up again. I couldn't believe I had fallen asleep so easily in the arms of a man, let myself become so vulnerable. I drifted off to sleep again, dreams coming in the form of memories. But this time they weren't nightmares, they were of my father and I. That was why I looked at the photo album, my thoughts were replaced. I could see my dad, he was pushing me on the old tire swing. Then the nightmares came back and I became upset, tossing and turning a bit in my sleep. It was one with knives, and rape and a harsh beating. One of the worst experiences I had with Trevor. I could only hope I'd be woken up from this horror of a memory soon.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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At some point I'd drifted off, holding her close, but at some point my warmth left me and I mumbled lightly before shifting a bit. I still couldn't get warm and when I heard the rustle of cloth against cloth, my eyes opened slowly, a dazed look coating them. I stood and drosy eyed, I wondered to the edge of Val's bed, though I didn't realize it. I stubbed my toe and I let out an angry grumble before curling up into a ball on the end, on hand hanging over the edge while a foot hung over the other. I was probably going to wake up with back pain, but I was out like a light in several seconds.

I whined in my sleep, rolling over onto my other side, still curled up. "No. . . no. I don't. . . wanna eat my. . . lima beans. . . mommy." It was a low cry of distress, but in a way if anyone else heard me it would be something to love and laugh at later on in life. I rolled over again and sighed, pulling a part of the blanket into a ball and cuddling with it. My eyebrows knit together slowly and I started to thrash my legs just a little bit, more than likely kicking Val. "Stop. . . don't hurt her. . . anymore!" I stopped thrashing and curled into a tight ball holding the blanket corner to my chest.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
[/center]

As soon as I was kicked, I woke up with a jolt. I looked down to see the source of the kicking, and it was Damen. He had probably fallen asleep there. I heard his words about hurting a girl, and immediately knew he had seen my dream. I didn't care if tears were running down my face right now, I had to wake him up. I knew how horrible the nightmares were, after all they were mine and I had lived them. I moved onto my knees and put my hands on his shoulders, shaking him gently. "Damen... Damen, wake up. It's okay... I'm okay. You're seeing my nightmare," I spoke in a soothing matter, moving my hand up to stroke his hair in an attempt to comfort him. Why did I care so much? Because, I was falling for him. And I didn't want to, but I undeniably was.

I wanted to curl up beside him and kiss him and hug him, and tell him everything was okay, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I reminded myself of what he was seeing, and quickly got rid of that. "I'll be back, Damen," I whispered before getting up, grabbing an outfit and running to change. I took the truck to Starbucks, getting Damen a black coffee and anything he would want to put in it, and got myself a chai tea latte in my usual long-order fashion. I ordered two bagels with butter as well for breakfast, then came back to the dorm and shut the door quietly behind me.

I walked over and set the bagels and chai on my nightstand, keeping the coffee in my hand until I walked over to where Damen was, seeing he hadn't moved much. I held the coffee under his nose, letting him smell it before moving away. "Good morning sunshine. You're going to have to get up and come get this coffee yourself if you want it," I teased with a smile on my face. I wanted him to be happy, not stressed or upset about the nightmare. I stood there, looking over him from a bit of a distance away from the bed. Damn, he was hot. He had the perfect body from what I had seen. But no, that didn't excuse him from my rule. And my rule was to not let anyone too close, especially a guy. Especially Damen now, because he was already close enough. Too close.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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I could feel her hand on my hair, her voice in the back of my mind as I watched the horrors play before my eyes. I tried to say something, to wake up from this nightmare that kept playing through my head over and over. I whimpered lightly once before all sound died away and her gentle touch left. The dream remained though, clouding my mind and making me want to scream in pure fury at all the things that flahsed before me. She was being hurt in more ways than one and yet here I stood, trapped in this never ending hell, unable to stop it in the least. I shifted only slightly. Staying pretty close to the same position I had been in all day.

The smell of coffee, caused me to raise my head and open my eyes. "Coffee. Need coffee. . ." I got up from the end of her bed yawning boldly before walking toward her. "Give me the coffee or I'll kiss you. I mean it. Coffee is my life. No morning person can servive without it. LIfe itself will end if you don't give it to me now." I said, voice sluggish with sleep while I lifted a hand to rub the back of it over my eye. I held out my other hand to her. "Now. I mean it. I will kiss you without a thought. it would be really simple for me to do that." I glared at her, running my hands through my mussed hair, messing it up even more than it already was.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
[/center]

At the word 'kiss', I hesitated before my hand shot out to give him the coffee. "Here, take it," I said quickly, handing him the coffee before going back to sit on the bed, taking a sip of my own chai. "There's stuff here if you put anything in your coffee, by the by," I said quietly, "And I brought you a bagel for breakfast." I had immediately gotten cautious after that comment, about how easy it would be for him to kiss me. That meant it'd be easy for him to do a lot more as well. And that scared me, how close I had gotten to him last night paired with the fact that he could overtake me. Unless I used my powers, and I didn't want to have to kill him. I liked him too much.

I looked at Damen with sad eyes for a moment. "Uhm, I'm sorry you had to see that nightmare..." I apologized quietly, looking down at the floor, "I have the same kind, different torture, every night. That one was one of the worst, though. I wish you hadn't had to see that." I looked back up at him and smiled, getting us off topic was what I wanted to do. "So, we should eat. And don't threaten to kiss me again, please," I asked politely, opening the bag and handing him the bagel with a napkin. Fact was, I wanted to kiss him. Really wanted to. But at the same time, I didn't. Why did this boy make me so confused? It was like I knew I could never let him close, but something was pulling him closer and closer to me. And I didn't like that, not one bit. But just because I didn't like it, didn't mean it'd stop trying to convince me that I was falling for him.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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I didn't bother with creamer or sugar this morning. Nope. I just walked up to the side of her bed, sat on the ground and started drinking it. A low hum rose in my throat. I was delighted at the prospect of coffee when I hadn't slept so grand. I glanced up at her over the edge of my cup, still drinking down the burning hot liquid in greedy gulps. By the time I removed the cup from my lips half of it had been drained and my belly felt warm and sloshy. "I think I have the best roommate ever. Coffee is a god's send." I let out a content, yet not fully wake sigh before yawning in a way that made me think of Shanook. I took the bagle and napkin from her. "Dude, I was totally kidding. Do you know how awake I am? You might have to direct me to class or I'm gunna walk into a wall or something." I told her before picking up a half of the bagle and taking a large bite out of it.

"What motive do I have to kiss you anyways? Give me the coffee and no one gets kiss is pretty much how I flow. I would tell another dude that if it got me my coffee." My explaination was kind of weird. I mean, what if the guy was gay? Then I would more than likely not be rooming with them. I would be hidden away in a different room where they couldn't get me. I lifted my coffee to my lips once more and took a smaller, slower sip than I had before, trying not to drain it all in one moment. How silly would that be? I would crash and burn so fast no one would know what to do with me.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

why does he have to be so gorgeous?

[/size][/b][/color]
i'm taking pictures in my mind to save them for a rainy day[/font][/i]

its hard to make conversation when he is taking my breath away.[/font][/i]
he already knows that he's in my mind.[/size][/b][/color]
[/center]

I smiled and laughed at his comments. "Hun, if I'm directing us to class we'll never get there," I joked before taking a bite of my own bagel. I knew he had said he had no motive to kiss me, but I also knew that wasn't true. He liked me, and I knew it. And I was trying to avoid it. I wasn't going to mention it, obviously. "Well then, I'll bring you coffee every morning. And of course you have the best roommate in the world. You're rooming with me, after all," I joked, "Well I probably won't be here half the time, but I'm the best roommate you'll ever have anyway." I knew I couldn't be here every night, I'd go crazy. The nightmares I was sure were going to get worse and worse the more time I spent here, and now he could see them as well. It'd only be trouble.

I finished my bagel and realized it was about time for us to get going. I was already finished my morning routine. I threw my things out then grabbed my bag, coaxing Demi-Tasse into it as Sephora obediantly waited at my feet. I moved and out of a pure burst of courage, kissed his forehead sweetly. "I'll wat for you downstairs for you. We should be getting to class and I'm ready, so, I'll be down there," I explained before smiling at him and walking away, going out the door and heading towards the lounge to wait. Once I got there, I sat on a couch, opening my sketchbook and beginning to sketching Damen quickly, finishing it up and admiring it. He had told me to do a human one, so I did. I'd give it to him when he came down. Until then, I flipped the page and began sketching Sephora, who was sitting and flicking her tail, looking at me with bright eyes. I smiled at her, and went back to sketching.

[Damen Andrew Rowan]

Damen Andrew Rowan

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I blinked several times before standing up after she'd vacated the room. A soft sigh passed through my lips just before I grabbed some clean smelling jeans and a gray t-shirt before pulling on the leather jacket I wore often. I stretched my hands over my head before grabbing my shoes and socks. I pulled them both on, one after the other. I ran my fingers through my hair, putting it into some kind of order. I ran off to the bathroom to brush my teeth than returned to my dorm, applying Axe Phoenix like any other normal guy would this early in the morning. I took another long drink of my coffee before grimacing. I could taste if fully now and vaguely wished I'd added sugar and creamer. Oh well, to late for that. I downed the last of it and finished off he bagel before heading downstairs.

I took my own sweet time getting down there, Shanook shaking her head at me the whole way, while Rouge, faithfully curled on my shoulder. I smiled when I saw Val waiting for me and made my way over to her, back pack slung over one shoulder, the shoulder Rouge didn't occupy. "Thanks for the coffee. If I didn't already tell you that. I'm still kind of out of it." I yawned raising a hand to cover my mouth as Rouge reached out with front paws to grab at that same and hand pulled it backward awkwardly. I allowed her to though. Knowing she would bite me if I didn't.

[Valerie Lynn Monroe]

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I heard Damen's voice and looked up with a sweet smile. "Don't mention it. Thank you for helping me last night," I said, getting up, "It really meant a lot to me to know that you care about me. At least someone does." I meant what I said, it was nice having someone who cared. I just didn't know if I could trust him. I then recalled the drawing and turned to it, pulling it out and handing it to him. "You did tell me to show you a human drawing, so I thought I'd do one of you. I hope you like it," I said with a smile, biting my bottom lip and holding it out for him.

Why did I care so much? Better yet, why was I so nervous about his opinion. Had I really fallen so hard for the boy? I hoped not. I held the book close to me, waiting for his response to my sketch. I thought it was pretty good, but he was much more handsome in person. I sighed quietly, smiling softly at him. "You can keep it, if you like it, you know," I said just as quietly. I felt Sephora nudge me against the back of my legs, causing me to take a step closer to him. I looked down at her and glared. Why was I acting like sure a shy little girl around him. "Uhm, we should probably head to class now. You need to wake up a bit," I said with a smirk, covering up how obviously uncomfortable, yet completely comfortable at the same time, I was with how close we had become. I was now completely and utterly hopeless when it came to this boy, time would tell what happened. But until that, I had to remember to put up those walls again. Problem was, he just seem to make me want to tear them down.

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